


High Enough - a Destiel short story

by cxstiel_xox



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel (Supernatural) Dies, Dean Winchester Has Feelings, Dean Winchester Has Feelings For Castiel, Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Sad Dean Winchester, The Impala (Supernatural), Worried Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 17:10:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19233517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cxstiel_xox/pseuds/cxstiel_xox
Summary: -ANGST WARNING-Based off the song "High Enough" by K.FlaySUMMARY:Castiel was killed during a battle, and Dean doesn't know if he'll return, and is mourning him by taking a long drive in his car(idk if this counts as a OneShot, that's why I'm calling it a short story)





	High Enough - a Destiel short story

_**I don't like anyone better than you, it's true**_  
_**I'd crawl a mile in a desolate place with the snakes, just for you**_

  
Tears in his eyes, Dean drives down a country highway, no car in sight. A pack of beer takes up his passenger seat. He can't stand the thoughts running through his head.

**_Oh, I'm an animal, hand me a tramadol, gimme the juice_**  
**_You are my citadel, you are my wishing well, my baby blue_**

  
He left Sam at the motel to go be by himself. He didn't want his baby brother seeing him like this. He couldn't bare Sam's comfort at the moment. He needs to do it his own way.

**_I used to like liquor to get me inspired_**  
**_But you look so beautiful, my new supplier_**  
**_I used to like smoking to stop all the thinking_**  
**_But I found a different buzz_**

  
His thoughts about Cas overpowered his rationality. He started sobbing. He tried his hardest to keep his eyes open enough to drive. _It's all my fault._ Dean thought. _He'd still be alive if I was there with him a minute earlier._

**_The world is a curse, it'll kill if you let it_**  
**_I know they got pills that can help you forget it_**  
**_They bottle it, call it medicine_**  
**_But I don't need drugs_**

  
He heard his phone ring. it was Sam, probably worried about where he is. Dean declined the call. He can't talk to him. Not yet. Not in this state.

**_'Cause I'm already high enough_**  
**_You got me, you got me good_**  
**_I'm already high enough_**  
**_I only, I only, I only got eyes for you_**

  
He couldn't see the road anymore. He pulled over to the side of the highway and sobbed even more. He hits his head against the steering wheel a few times, causing the horn to honk. _If only I was there for him when he needed me._

**_Do you see anyone other than me?_**  
**_Baby, please_**  
**_I'll take a hit of whatever you got_**  
**_Maybe two, maybe three_**

  
He leans over to grab a beer and his phone rings again. It's Bobby this time. He declines the call again. _No, I can't._ He opens the beer and starts drinking it, still sobbing between gulps.

**_Oh, you're phenomenal, feel like a domino, fall to my knees_**  
**_I am a malady, you are my galaxy, my sweet relief_**

  
He finishes drinking the bottle and throws it in the backseat. He sobs some more, occasionally hitting the steering wheel. He can't help it, this isn't exactly something he's experienced, so he doesn't know how to deal with it, besides anger and sadness.

**_I used to like liquor to get me inspired_**  
**_But you look so beautiful, my new supplier_**  
**_I used to like smoking to stop all the thinking_**  
**_But I found a different buzz_**  
**_The world is a curse, it'll kill if you let it_**  
**_I know they got pills that can help you forget it_**  
**_They bottle it, call it medicine_**  
**_But I don't need drugs_**

  
His phone kept ringing. He couldn't handle the damn noise. He picks it up and sees its Sam again. He answers the phone.  
"Dean? is that you?" Sam yells. Through sobs, Dean finally musters out,  
"Leave me the fuck alone, Sam" Dean says as he hangs up the phone.  
"No wait-" Sam's final words left the speaker as Dean closed it.

**_Don't_** ** _try to give me cold water_**  
**_I don't wanna sober up_**  
**_All I see are tomorrows_**  
**_Oh, the stars were made for us_**

  
Dean grabs another bottle and chugs it down, sobbing harder. He starts to think about all the missed chances he should've taken with Cas. All the Inferences, the Standing close to eachother, the Tension, all of it.  
"Damnit, Cas" Dean whispers between more sobs. He grabs another bottle and opens it.

**_I'm already high enough_**  
**_You got me, you got me good_**  
**_I'm already high enough_**  
**_I only, I only, I only got eyes for you_**

  
He thought he heard the familiar sound of Cas's wings fluttering, and turns sharply around.  
"Cas?" his voice breaks as he turns and sees no one there. He slowly turns back and hits the wheel again.

**_I only got eyes for you_ **

  
After an hour of being a sobbing mess, Dean finally decides to go back to the motel. As he turns the car around, his cell goes off again. it's Sam. He decides to answer it.  
"Yeah, yeah, Sam. I'm okay, I'm coming back now." He says, not giving Sam a chance. He hears a sigh of relief from Sam's end as he hangs up the phone.

_**I only, I only, I only got eyes for you.** _

**Author's Note:**

> Just a Quick little note for y'all sksksks-
> 
>  
> 
> if this story gets over 200 views, I'll add another chapter with a different song, hopefully not angsty, but I don't wanna do it if no one reads it lmao you understand right
> 
> so if you enjoyed the story, share it and maybe read one of my other stories????


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